Another semester down...

**DISCLAIMER: Some portions of this blog may be falsified or exaggerated for comic purposes; names and/or genders may be changed to protect the Ignant. No defamation of any people, places, or institutions is intended**

Ok so I have had a lot to say/write/blog but I've been keeping a lot of it to myself. I've been keeping myself to myself as well. Between working at the Colledge & the Med Skool I've been just about making ends meet financially but I haven't had the $$ to do a lot of socializing. Plus the unseasonably warm weather has kept me & my little scarves away from the craft fair scene, so even less holiday cheer than usual. Meh. But enough of this money belly-aching, why don't I tell you some funny stories from El Profe?

So Colledge students were a really mixed bag this semester. In one of my classes there was a group of 3 girls who were always standing in front of the building, smoking and talking crazy when I arrived, usually about 10 minutes prior to class. My routine was to go past the classroom, get a sip of water down the hall, and then come back to the room. Well, their routine was to wait until I got back into the classroom before they came in, usually at least 2 minutes after class started. It didn't matter if there was a quiz or a test, these Hoes couldn't be bothered to, IDK, look over the material or study or anything. Sometimes they would have some questions for me before class, but they were always things they ALREADY had the answer to, they just didn't bother to look. Like things that were in the book, often on the SAME PAGE.  These were also the same Hoes that often forgot to bring their books. Or backpacks. Or even a pencil.

Some students had abysmal attendance, and if they showed up on days when there were quizzes, they answered less than half of the questions, and then got all of those wrong. One student just made words up. I speak 3 languages & I have no idea what "queremotos" means in any of them. Sigh.

One student went MIA for several days & I received an email from some member of the college admin, asking me to excuse his absences due to the loss of his sister. He came back on the day we had a test but just looked a mess. I could tell he was about to start crying, or had been crying recently. I said, look, I will just double your next test grade if you want to take today off. He said thanks &  left, and I didn't see him again for several days, when he & his mom stood in the doorway of my classroom while I was lecturing to another class until I stopped and stepped out into the hallway & closed the door and I saw that his face was all busted up. His mother did the talking & let me know that his boyfriend had beat him up & they were about to go to court to testify about this domestic violence incident. He reappeared periodically, but rarely in a state I would call sober. I'm not begrudging the child a lil comfort--lord knows if anyone has a reason to do drugs, it's him. But child, if you are gettin so high on whatever it is that you are not able to keep both eyes open at the same time, maybe it is not the time for you to be in skool. He had several days of attendance accumulated, and came to the review for our 2nd test, but not the test itself. On the day after the test, I was sitting outside of the building, smoking before class when Mr Man shows up & immediately starts questioning me about grammatical stuff. I said, "Hold up. You are talking like the test is today. It was last time."

Blank stare. "What do you mean? I thought the review was for today's test?"

Me: "OK well that does not make any sense. Why on Earth would I give a test review a week in advance?"

More Blank Stare. "Well, what happened was I was kinda missing my ex, I know it is wrong since he hurt me so bad, but I came across this stash box of his in my house and I was looking through it, and it made me really depressed and sad so I went to my bedroom and took a nap."

Me: "So what was in the box? Drugs?"

Lick-lipping & 1 eye at half-mast: "Well, mostly just paraphernalia. Empty baggies and mirrors and straws & stuff."

At this point I'm thinking, Bitch PLEASE. You came across some kind of leftover drugs & did them & then laid down to go feel good up in your body.

But he goes on: "So when I woke up from my nap, my parents had let themselves into my house & my lawyer was there & so were the police. They didn't arrest me, but they did follow me down the street after I argued with my parents & started walking towards campus, but then I went back home & talked to them & I thought the test was today & now you tell me it was last time & what do I do???." Commence waterworks.

WOOOOH. STOP. Seriously, I am not your therapist. Certainly not when the paycheck amounts to $100 per class per week. I said something comforting but I really seriously did tell him to re-consider dropping the class. I mean, the child is having a bad one. It really was time for him to take a break. But no, he stayed enrolled & never showed up to the Final, so there you have it.

More than twice I had to remind students that there was a sign that clearly stated "No Eating or Drinking in this Room." YES, I am serious. I am not just talking about a soda on a desk. This one student had Lunchables, a big can of Arizona Iced Tea and a Lil Debbie Snack Cake! I just stared and stared & shook my head & then walked over to the sign I mentioned & pointed at it.

Of course, it wasn't all as grim as it probably sounds here. I did have some delights, and I am grateful for them. I am even more grateful that the semester is over & I am bout to embark on my Winter Pilgrimage to the Ville, for plenty knitting, crazy talk with Geese, fellowship with Sandi & co, Doctor Who X-mas Special & the latest season of Misfits! Since Michael Jayston (The Valeyard) will be at Gallifrey One in February, maybe I will bring the Trial of a Time Lord DVDs.....

Speaking of Gallifrey One, if anyone is interested in a trunk show, please let me know, I still have plenty glamour hats/scarves for the current Cold Snap & am trying to raise a lil extra $$ for February! Of course, if you just want to contribute to the cause, you can feel free to PayPal me at sammikat@hellokitty.com ;-)

Anywho, thanks for reading.

Next Time: I go into the Vault & tell you one of those "Crazy Hoes I Used to Know" kinda stories....