Trifling Tuesday....

This past Tuesday, as you may recall from my Facebook update, I had an interview for a Spanish teaching position at Cameron College here in New Orleans, which is located on Canal Street in Mid-City, near Broad St, directly across from the McDonald's. I also saw an ad on NOLA.com seeking a Spanish language translator for the DA's office, which is about 7 blocks from Cameron College. A friend came by & I got him to bring me over to the DA's office & then drop me off at Cameron College a few minutes before my 4PM appointment.

I had Googled Cameron College prior to showing up & I had seen the building many times before, so I knew it wasn't going to be like  Harvard. From what I recall from their website, it is a community college that specializes in Associate degrees in subjects like Medical Billing. I didn't even know they taught Spanish at this sort of school. But I digress. As far as I could tell, the campus is this one 3-story brick building on Canal St. When you enter on the ground floor, there is a lobby with a lunchroom on the right and an elevator on the left. I had to go up to the 2nd floor, which I guess is where administration is. Immediately when I walked in I noticed that the secretary had a flat-screen monitor displaying 14 security cam views of the "campus." Always reassuring.

I had previously emailed them a resumé in response to a Craig's list ad, but I had brought a hard copy with me, and when I told the secretary why I was there and who I was there to see, she asked me to have a seat and fill out an application that had been Xeroxed so many times that some of the boxes were blurred out. This annoys the hell out of me. Like, I wrote a resumé, don't make me fill out some generic application that asks for my elementary school. But so I did it, and I was made to wait around for nearly an hour until Mrs Cameron called me into her office for an interview. She seemed a charming older lady, but she had clearly only scanned my resumé. The big question I remember her asking is "Why do people get a Master of Arts degree? Does that mean you are an artist?" After I explained this conundrum to her, she said "oh, look! you've taught me something!" Very pleasant.

Afterwards, she had me go to the Dean's office, where I was interviewed by a White man and a Nepalese woman, who asked questions like "How do you approach a class of people who don't want to take Spanish? Or who want to know WHY you have to take it?" Grrl. That has been practically every class I have taught.
They also explained to me how things work. Their programs last 6 to 12 weeks, and Spanish is taught in the morning for 1 hour for the 12-wk class & 2 hours for the 6 wk class with a pay rate of $18/hr. I took this in and kept interviewing. I think the rest of it went well, but as I was thinking about it on the bus it is just not enough damn money. $90-180 per week before taxes for a bitch with 2 Bachelor's Degrees and a Master's degree.

The big plus for this adventure was hearing the bounce remix of Adele's "Rolling in the deep" BOOMING out of someone's car while I was waiting for the Broad bus at the corner of Canal & Broad. It was a struggle not to booty wap at the intersection, but given that I was dressed in a button up shirt & khaki trousers (and it was like 100+ heat index), I thought it was best to save the shaking for later.

Anyway so I got home, changed into my Pilates wear & got on the Elysian Fields bus to head over to my pilates class on St Claude. I got off the bus at St Claude & Elysian Fields, and went into the Walgreens at the corner for an Arizona Blueberry White Iced Tea and a little pack of peanuts. So I was standing around on the sidewalk on St Claude, eating my peanuts & drinking my tea while listening to something ignorant like MIA on my earbuds, wearing some plastic glam sunglasses & not my regular spectacles when I heard a car horn blow. I looked up & saw this black man in a white car, kinda waving. As you know, I am quite nearsighted & naturally I didn't recognize this man, but I waved (it's only polite) and finished off my tea & peanuts & went to cross Elysian Fields when I noticed this man in the car had turned left onto EF & was coming kinda in my direction.

Naturally I got like 3 txt messages as I crossed the street & I stopped at the far side of the corner to answer them (by this time I have my glasses on) and the light changes & this man blows his horn again & pulls over into the parking lot of this abandoned building I am standing in front of, waving me over. I am still kind of thinking maybe I know this man from UNO or something but as I approach his car, I realize that I don't know him. So I walk up and I'm like "Do you need something? Have we met?"

This man looks me dead in my face & he's like "I wanna hook up wit u, why don't you get in the car & I'll give you a ride to wherever it is you are goin & I can get your number."

"Man, I am not getting in that car. What is it you think we would be doing anyway"

"Turn around"

"Oh no baby. It is not that kinda party"

"Wait. Have you ever gotten a bj?"

"Huh?"

"C'mon, show me how big it is, just pull down them sweat pants & lemme see it"

"You are insane. I am trying to go the exercise place, not get arrested for prostitution"

"Where you stay?"

"Gentilly"

"I'm in Slidell these days. I been out inna Quarters, drinking. I was at Rawhide just now, but it's too early"

(PS The sun is still out!! Of course it is too early for the Rawhide)

Then this man says "C'mon, let me give you a ride, Imma run outta gas in this parking lot like this."

"I'm not getting in that car with you, man"

"That's what's up" and then he finally drove away.

I normally do not smoke cigarettes for at least half an hour prior to pilates but this was a special occasion. As I was walking to class I just kept thinking, "Really?!?"

I don't think I'd be so insulted if this man wasn't so absurd looking, and honestly if he had been fine enough, pilates might have been cancelled. But this dude looked like a black Jabba the Hut. I am not saying I don't have love for a big boy sometimes but this man was just ridiculous. I am kinda insulted about the whole thing. I am so far out of this man's league on the simple fact of looks (never mind education & class) that I am still baffled as to how he really thought this whole situation was gonna go. Ugh.

Well, at least I had a funny story to tell my pilates teacher.

& you!! Thanks for reading....