Monday, April 11, 2011

Inspiration is where you find it..

I was walking down Amnesia Lane with an old friend via FB messaging & his words inspired me to tell this story. Here is the last paragraph of his message:
Today, I am the perfect me. The perfect summation of my past and my goals for the future. Without them, I would not be who I am. Without those friends, I would not be who I am.

I guess you could say I was still walking Wildways until probably MG 02. I had been off the scene & just working cater waiter jobs since Xmas but I decided to tempt fate & happened to run into my evil ginger tranny snaggle-puss ex-roommate Summer, who walked up to me & slapped my face in 735. Chaos ensued, no police were called but I walked away from the fruit loop for good. I didn't step foot near that corner unless I was coming to or from work & even then I trod very cautiously. By Labor Day, I'd been blessed enough to have met a boyfriend who helped finance not only my 1st year at UNO but also spending money for my trip to LA for the taping of The Weakest Link (Aug 28th, the 1st Thursday of my 1st semester).
Well, I'm sure you know how that part went. (& If not, I'll attach a link)
So when I got back to NOLA, it was Southern Decadence. I worked a beer bar out of the doors of the Bourbon Orleans & made a Fortune (for me) & was feelin good after several months of sobriety & success.

All of this elation was tempered (not to say devastated) by a call from my landlady that Monday, informing me that my neighbors had reported dead dogs in the back yard. I said "hunh???" You see, around this time I had acquired a biracial vegetarian stripper cokehead whom I'll call Betti Spaghetti. What she didn't tell me after we met (thru a cokehead cabdriver neighbor of mine) was that she was bringing a dog along. Well, the long & the short is that the dog had had puppies in the backyard & Betti was supposed to be getting rid of them to other strippers. I never even looked in the backyard the whole weekend because the curtains were always closed & I guess I took it for granted the dogs, like her, were gone. What I discovered was altogether more gruesome. I went back there to find where there had been 7 puppies & 1 mama, there were 2 puppies barking in the corner of the yard with the mama on a chain & the bodies of 2 puppies that had clearly been eaten close to her. I still do not know to this day where the other 3 puppies are.
So, after feeling like I'm in the middle of the worst nightmare of my life, I call the SPCA.

The man on the phone is absolutely retarded. I'm sure I was a little...unnerved but he was totally unhelpful & when I told him what street I lived on "Grand Route St. John" this man tells me "We don't serve St. John Parish, this is Orleans only" I asked to speak to a supervisor. Well, maybe I yelled a little bit. The supervisor was pretty brusque as well & when I explained my situation as calmly as I could (which is to say probably not much) & I remember telling this woman "I just don't know what to do. I can't bring these animals up inside my house as they are crawling with fleas but I can't leave them out there, I'm scared there are going to be more dead dogs in the back yard when I wake up & this idiot man who answered the phone is too stupid to know that my street is not a parish--" and then Miss Woman cut me off & said I was being abusive & then this ho HUNG UP ON ME.
I called back but those dirty mofos turned on the answering machine so I left them some hysterical message about being afraid of more dead dogs in the back yard.

I called my boyfriend in hysterics & like he had the presence of mind to come by with garbage bags & food for the mama dog. Thank God he actually had the fortitude to pick the lil dead darlings up, I was absolutely petrified to touch them. He fed the living puppies and kinda separated them from the mama dog, but there was no kind of kennel or anything & I didn't have anything like that so I think they dogs must have stayed the night out there because the SPCA didn't come out until the next day, around 1 PM.

My bitchy quasi-twin straight couple neighbors (more on these 2 in another blog) woke me up, banging on my door & questioning me about the dogs & I told them I didn't know when the SPCA would be there. They were really ugly with me (like these were my dogs in the 1st place anyway) like I should have taken care of them & I told them I didn't even know they were still there but they weren't hearing it. They were hoarders & had some chicken wire & so set up a lil cage on their side of the porch & took these poor flea ridden lil puppies up there & when the SPCA got there, it looked like they'd had them up there for awhile. The SPCA people were rude at best and didn't really seem like they were buying the whole Betti Spaghetti story (again, another blog, just relax) but it was the truth & I stuck with it. All I remember about them is that they took a report from what little information I could give them. I had her real name & the name of whichever skeezy bar it was she said she was working at but I don't think it was a whole lot to go on.
I never have seen Miss Spaghetti  again. She called once & said she'd found a new place to live and that she'd be by for her stuff the next day (i.e. when I would be in class) & when I got home there was like a pyramidal stack of her boxes up in my living room. I got a call from her that night, saying that the cabdriver wanted to charge her a $40 moving fee (i'm sure she had better, shall we say, more  jaw-grinding plans for that $40) and that she'd be by once she got a ride. A day later I guess that ho never found a ride bc I put all her boxes out on the street to let them be picked up like the trash she was.

My elation about the whole Weakest Link affair was pretty crushed the following Monday, when I was arrested on a warrant for a weed charge I had previously been told was dropped, but that truly is another story.

Geez grrl I really didn't set out to tell you all this, but I'm glad I did. It is all inspired by the last paragraph of your message. I honestly cried when I read those words, for they are to live by. They are the best expression of where I am at most days. Without this (and so many other tragedies) I could never have experienced the dimensions of Fierceness that I have achieved, am achieving & will continue to achieve.

Praise Bless.

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