Fun with make up tests!

So this student who sent me the deranged email from the previous blog found me in the copy room during my office hours yesterday (which kinda blows his/her excuse about a doctor's appointment, btw) and it really was a good thing I was copying the tests I was about to administer so I didn't have to look at him/her in the face.
--Did you get my email, Don?
--Yes.
--Is that cool if I come during your office hours for that retake.
--Yes. (still staring at the copy machine)
--I was just wondering if you got my email.
--Yes. (continue staring at the copy machine as it proceeds to have a nervous breakdown in sympathy as the paper jams)
--OK I wasn't really sure I sent it to the right email.
--I'll see you Wednesday, the copy machine is going crazy.

Fast-Forward to my office hours today. They begin at 1 & class is at two. Crazy Student breezes in to my office (where another student is taking a makeup as well), waving around this piece of paper, saying "I was making a copy of this for" (umm, the last time you saw me I was at a copy machine, I'm pretty sure I could have made a copy, paper jams tend not to have long-term damage) I took this person outside & questioned him/her about the logic involved with showing up 15 minutes late. I got a blank stare followed by:
--Well, I didn't realize you were such a stickler for punctuality. I figured I could just take the test real fast & then see you in class.
--What you are not understanding here is that our class starts at 2. This means you will have to take the test "real fast" & then I will have to grade it "real fast" so you can make an informed decision about whether or not you are going to drop this class. What I am not understanding is why you weren't here earlier. If it were me in this situation, I promise you I would have been here 15 minutes earlier, STUDYING. Perhaps with those notecards I mentioned in class.

You have no idea how glad I was that the next thing I heard was not "What are notecards?"

So I had this person sit & take the test & SURPRISE: an F. S/He sat there & watched me grade the test. I couldn't look at him/her then either. After I wrote the 48 on the page I handed the test back & said, "I really don't know what to say about this that I haven't already said. I honestly do my very best to try to make this material comprehensible but this is clearly not the time for you to be taking this class."
More blank staring & then a sort of hangdog look & then "Ok, then, see you around."

Needless to say this person was absent from class but, last time I checked online, has still not dropped the class.

In other news, here is the latest gem from my inbox, from a different student:

Buenas noches Dr. Ray,

I would have liked to speak with you in person in regards with my grades but since I procrastinated, I can't do so and I sincerely apologize for that. I understand that I've made a lot of poor grades (i.e I have failed everything and never done any homework). since I started this class. And I was wondering, if possible, by doing all of the assignments and voice recordings, along with doing exceptional on the next few tests that I would end up with a possible C? I'm not even sure if I'm asking too much for even a C. I was hoping to get an insight with you on whether or not I should just drop this class. Thank you for your time

 

Ok. Now this I can deal with.