Strange Reunion

Last week, I got in touch with Big Laurel, a close friend from my pre-Katrina life. We used to spend a lot of time together, during those golden days when life was an honest breath taken in good faith. She was instrumental in finding me an apartment (where I'm still living) during that chaotic time in January 2006, when I discovered that my previous landlord was living in the apartment I'd planned to return to. She stayed here that Spring, after I'd had surgery and was forced to spend the semester recuperating in Hahnville with my grandmother. 

The last time I saw her, in late May of 2006, my mom & I met her for lunch and we had a nice time. I remember a lot of laughs and a good meal. I moved back into my apt a week or so later, and never heard from Laurel again. She stopped answering my calls, her voicemail got full, and I was left to wonder what I'd done wrong. I called her number from time to time, just to see if it was still connected, but I can't tell you when the last time is that I tried.  

We have a mutual friend named Amy that I occasionally chat with on Facebook, and Amy recently told me that Laurel wanted me to call & gave me her number. I called Laurel & all she could really say about not being in touch so long was that she "went crazy for awhile & didn't call anybody" which isn't really an explanation, but rather a faux-pology. During the course of the conversation, I found out that she'd been working at a bar room in our old neighborhood up until last year, and that she's not working steady right now, but she'd love to re-connect. I told her I'd be free on Tuesday, after 5 & we planned for her to pick me up & take me to her place. 

I was really looking forward to this. I got nostalgic, thinking of all the times we shared. She brought me to my first Peaches show, we watched foreign films together, she was just there when I needed her. Until she wasn't.

She picked me up from work, and as we were driving thru the French Quarter, towards her place in Mid-City, she got a call from this guy called Rory. This is when she told me that we had to pick him up. I asked, where are we bringing him? She said, well, he's staying with me, so we're taking him back to my house.

I was more than a bit taken aback by this. I was even more taken aback when she informed me that she has an old lady named Zelda staying in her spare room, and she'd be joining us for dinner. 

This seemed like a really strange way to re-connect, but I went with it. Rory was at a bar in Quarter, still having fun, so Laurel said she'd just pick him up later & we went back to her house & I met Zelda, a 60-something lady sitting on Miss Baby's couch in her housecoat, talking about cleaning the kitchen. Rory called again and said that he had left the bar and started walking towards Laurel's house, so Laurel & I took a ride to pick him up.

We got him from in front of the Esplanade food store on N. Villere & Esplanade, where he was drinking a beer from a can that he crushed & threw away, before grabbing his guitar case & putting it in Laurel's car trunk. He regaled us with stories of his day, watching gutter punks get money for panhandling while he played his guitar and didn't get anything. Well, I guess he must have gotten something, because on the way home, he asked Laurel to stop at another store so he could buy a big bottle of Skol vodka and a fountain cold drink.

Once we got in the house, I sat in a recliner in the living room and resumed knitting, while he sat in a loveseat across the room from me, with Laurel & Zelda on a couch to my right. Rory started taking alternating sips of his Skol and his fountain soda, and then he told that story about the gutterpunks again, but this time, the gutter punks got in a fight with some old man in a business suit, and Rory intervened and kept the peace.

I remember being really confused about what was going on here. Then he started questioning me about gay stuff--who is on top, who is on the bottom, who is the bitch, who is the butch. All of these ignorant personal questions that I really NEVER understand why people feel free to ask me. I refused to participate in this. I just kept responding, "Why are you so interested in this?" "You can look this stuff up on the Internet if you really want to know." and other sassy repartée, designed to deflect this sort of thing.

I remember telling Laurel a story, and he kept trying to derail me, but erry body knows that some quasi-homeless bastard sipping on a Skol Drink is no match for the Witty Knitter. I could see he was getting frustrated that he wasn't getting to be his Alpha Male Self with me, but eventually he & Laurel went into the kitchen to cook dinner & Zelda and I sat around, watching Helix on the DVR & chatting.

Laurel & Rory came up and served us dinner (after having to ride to the store to get more macaroni), and he was on what I'm sure he thought was his very best behavior. He even served me a Skol & Cranberry juice cocktail, but I opted to keep drinking my lil bottle of water. 

Dinner itself was simple but delicious! A green salad, fried pork chops, mac & cheese. Trailer-Tastic perhaps, but damn tasty. 

Ooh I just realized I didn't mention that Rory didn't eat, he just kept swiggin from his bottle & sucking thru his straw as the rest of us had our feast on TV trays.

After dinner, he was still playing the gracious host & picked up our plates and brought them back to the kitchen, before resuming his spot. 

At this point, Zelda & I are chatting and he & Laurel are talking & I'm not sure exactly what they were talking about, but I could see that he was getting sort of animated, and he got off his loveseat  and came across the room & stood next to me and proceeded to call  Laurel's name and say "What if I did this?" and grabbed me by the head. 

He put his hand flat on the top of my head, with his index fingers pressed flat on my forehead and his thumb over my ear. 

I froze. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to stab him with my knitting needles, but they were plastic & I didn't want to get blood all over my Blue Beauty 4th Doctor Scarf, and I just froze. I looked at Laurel, who was just looking at him, dumbfounded.

After...30 seconds? 45? He let go & crossed the room to Laurel & started telling her something about how he was trying to make her laugh & then he looked over at me & said "Sam I'm sorry I wasn't trying to disrespect you (oh how he made those words drip with falsehood) or invade your space, I was just trying to make my girl laugh. I wasn't trying to piss you off or anything"

"Well what reaction did you expect from me?"

He sorta mumbled something & then staggered out of the room, towards the kitchen. 

I started throwing my stuff into my knitting bag & I told Laurel, "I'm really ready to go now. Either you bringing me home or I'll walk to Broad St and get the bus, but either way I'm outta here in the next 50 seconds"

Zelda, in the tradition of Southern Women, acted like nothing had happened, and gave me a hug & said "Well, I hope we'll see each other again real soon! I'd love to introduce you to my gay nephew"

All I could say was "We'll see" and I walked out of the house, with Laurel close behind, keys in her hand.

We got in the car, and I honestly did not know what to say to Laurel. I could barely even look at her face.

"Baby, I'm sorry that happened, but he was really just trying to make me laugh," she told me.

"No. That is not the only thing that was happening there and if you don't see it, then you are stupid or willfully blind. He felt threatened and wanted to dominate me in some way to prove some point and he did it. And you let him. FYI, me being taken, by a woman I trust, into a situation that I did not create, without my consent, and some man putting his hands on me is exactly my childhood and I am not going to re-live it with you. Not with you, not with anyone. I love you, Laurel, but this is not ever going to happen again. Maybe I can deal with you socially or in my house, but this will. Not. Happen. AGAIN."

She said "I can't apologize for anyone else's actions, but I am sorry you got upset" and continued on with the litany of minimizing that I remember so well. We talked all the way to my house and she even came up & we hung out for quite some time, but I never really got what I needed. Not a real apology for 7½ years of absence, nor for putting me into danger. 

I had resumed my old role, as well, letting myself be pacified or talking about other things. There was even some talk of my meeting up with her next week for Fat Falafel Glam in Mid-City, but now I don't think so. 

I don't think so at all.

I'm angry that this happened. But I'd be angrier at myself if I let it happen again.