I was going to write this great blog about how so many people came to the market & how I made this amazing fortune. Unfortunately, only 4 people came to see me at the market, & only 1 of them actually purchased anything. Of the remaining 3, one was my ride home, Matty Whips. Thanks so much to my fave straight couple (insofar as my heterophobia will permit), Paul von Munchausen & Sassy Kelsey for keeping my spirits up!
I made one other sale & that (plus the previous sale) covered the cost of my new tent, if not the booth rental fee, so by the time I was riding home, the bitterness pretty much grabbed hold. I couldn't even make it out of the house for a free Katey Redd show at the Healing Center! Now you know that is bad.
The bitterness kinda had me by the throat thru the weekend. I was angry & resentful & depressed & just feeling all crossed up until I finally let it just explode all over the blog.
Working with kids is bringing up all sorts of stuff from my tragic childhood & it is dangerous to combine this with 2 dismal Art Market failures...
Today, however, a NORTA mishap brought back my joy. I missed 1 Magazine bus & so didn't arrive at Canal St until 4:10 (leaving me 4 minutes to get from Magazine St to N. Rampart to catch the Franklin bus home. Needless to say, I saw the bus from about 2 blocks away & when I made it to N. Rampart, it was long gone. Ever resourceful, I took the Canal Streetcar to catch the Broad St Bus. Well, after I got off the streetcar I sat down at the bench at the Broad bus stop & struck up a conversation with an older black lady sitting next to me, the way you do. Well, the way I do. We shared stories of NORTA glam, frustration with dealing with City Hall, and realized we were both going the same way, for the same reason. We just had a lovely chat. Then the bus came. It was PACKED. Someone was kind enough to give up their seat to my newfound friend & she offered to hold my bag while I was standing. Right after that, some1 got off & offered me their seat, so I sat behind Miss Lady and we chatted a bit more & then she started to walk up to the front of the bus (we were in the back) & I realized that we were both getting off at the same stop. Well, lo & behold, my new friend, Miss Lorraine, lives right at the corner of Painters St & Gentilly Blvd (AKA less that 1.5 blox from my house). We chatted a bit more as I walked her to her door, that's when we introduced ourselves.
I couldn't stop smiling as I walked away. Writing this makes me realize that life is like this sometimes, even though you think you are having to take a big detour & go out of your way, along the way you find treasures that have been at your feet the whole time.
I hope that sounds profound...I feel profoundly grateful. Hopeful once more. Glad I just paid the entry fees for the Bayou Road Brewhaha this weekend & feeling confident that things will turn up, just as long as I keep moving & finding new ways to solve problems.
Thanks for reading!
I had a similar thing happen to me today too. One client cancelled and in place I was able to fit two school visits that I would have needed to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow to do. The world works in mysterious ways... I still have no idea how I'm going to pay my car insurance or car note or credit card bills this month, but I'll figure that out soon... I hope.
ReplyDeleteIts the small things in life that bring the greatest joy's. Much love to you Sammy hope to see you again someday soon. your friend "OG"
ReplyDeleteBaby, I've come to the realization in the last couple of years that I have to let the bulk of the crap from when I was a kid go. I'm sure (based on some of the conversations we've had over the years and some of the blogs you've posted) my life was peaches and cream compared to yours, but growing up an outsider in St. Charles Parish has it's own issues and they've left their scars. So I'm learning to let it go, piece by piece and retrieving my calm, peace by peace. I suspect you've come to that conclusion, too and I suspect the kids you are working with are healing you a little at a time, from the inside out, even if they are more or less animals that happen to walk upright and have occasional use of their opposable thumbs.
ReplyDeleteI've come to the realization that my standards aren't too high, I merely need to be more selective in whom I place my trust and who I allow in my life. I've also discovered that the words "Fuck it!", when appropriately applied, really do make the medicine go down and tho' it's not in the most delightful way, I don't tense up so badly. I'm a little more open to taking my well-deserved lumps (thanks to being a fuck-tard) and not fighting it and I'm starting to see some of that in your blog. Mom calls it growing up. I call it becoming comfortable with my place in the Multiverse. Do you see it that way as well?
I see I'm rambling and I suspect I don't have a point, other than maybe to tell you "I feel ya!" and to continue to offer my unwavering support (even if I may have to throw a bullshit card on occasion).
Lane:
ReplyDeleteDo I see it that way? Yea pretty much. IDK if I would phrase it as finding my place in but rather my way through the universe, if you see my meaning.
I love that you met this lady, Sam. I love these types of things in life and they are what make me an irritating optimist. And don't forget, "it's never to late to have a happy childhood". Here's a big hug for that 8 year old kid and the big grown man he has become!
ReplyDeleteI do, I do. You were always more into searching than I was and I, lazy creature that I am, have always been more into letting things come to me. I suspect you and I would do wonderfully together in a large blue box. :)
ReplyDelete