Saying Goodbye...

....or, Crazy Hoes I have known, the saga continues.

During this period of flux that I am currently inhabiting, there have been a few voices from my past that I have entertained. You will all surely remember my previous blog about Lil J, the cute guy with the drinking problem, (whose number is now saved in my cellulary phone as DO NOT ANSWER) so let me hit you with a story about someone else whose number has joined that list, a biracial gal I'll call Mo Gumbo.

I first met Mo Gumbo on Grand Route St. John, during the early part of 2001, a period when I was spending a lot of time with my neighbor, the Lady Ella, a beautiful Creole lady who worked at Cafe du Monde in the French Quarter. I was dropping by Ella's patio on my way home after a trip to Terranova's grocery store, and had a loaf of Bunny Bread hanging out of my grocery bag. Ella introduced me to Mo Gumbo, a heavy-set bright skinned lady with long dreadlocks & abnormally huge breasts whose instant reaction was to say something along the lines of "It's nice to meet you, you seem too smart to be eating bad bread like that."

"Grrl I don't know who you think you are to be critiquing a hoe's bread, but until you are paying for it, I would suggest you step off!"

We had a good laugh about this, I suppose, and we became friends. I remember the next time I saw her, she showed up to where I was living with my ginger tranny roommate, Summer Teef, all upset. Her boyfriend was breaking up with her & she just really needed to smoke some weed. She was so upset that he just KNEW how bad she needed to smoke, and he was smoking all up in her face. I was still not understanding why she was showing up to my house when I didn't have any weed, but eventually she told Tranzilla & me that she wanted us to come over and help her pack her ex's stuff. Please remember this is at a time when I didn't have cable, and this little drama had a lot of appeal.

We went over to her place, and helped her put some stuff in bags, and she kept asking if we wanted stuff of his, like shoes or fishing tackle or I don't even know what. I know neither of us wanted any of this foolish man's stuff. Or maybe he wasn't such a fool, as he wasn't dealing with her mania. Anyway, so at one point, she's so irate about the way the break up went that this crazy lady takes this man's tackle box, hikes up her hippy chick skirt & pees in it!!

I have to admit, this was HILARIOUS. Wacky, yes, but the intrinsic comedy of it all was pretty undeniable.

As time went on, we got closer, I think. There was even a point when she told Tranzilla & I that we were like her brothers--or sisters, she just couldn't decide. Later on I was to discover that she has a tendency to call the people in her life she's not having sex with by some familial name--brother, father, sister--until she does end up having some kind of sexual contact with them. But I'll get back to that later. There was something I liked about her. Not just that she was well-educated & very well spoken (she had grown up in Washington State, and so her accent alone made her exotic) but she was also quite good at actualizing. Like she just set goals and achieved them, unlike myself (and most of my coterie of friends) who was really good at thinking up cool ideas but not knowing how to go about making them happen. She was a survivor--she had been thru a bout with cancer and had lost her mother to the Big C & her father to AIDS. She had bonded closely with my neighbor Ella, who had lost one of her breasts because of Cancer. Despite all of this, she had a book deal. She had diplomas from universities. She attained jobs with ease.

But in her personal life---WHOA. Big troubles. Insecurity and narcissism led to bad decisions with men. She was the kind of gal to pick up dudes in bars & then wonder why they didn't call back. Yes. One of those kinds of gals. So she was seeing this white guy & turned up pregnant & the guy's family flipped out in some racist rage. Of course, when the baby came out blond & blue-eyed, the family was ok with the baby but she couldn't let go of her rage against them. But anyway she was an on-the-road kinda gal. She bounced from New Orleans to Washington State & back a few times and eventually lands up in Houston, dating a "great guy--and he's black!!" however, this relationship didn't work out because Mr Black Man was in the armed forces and had a pretty severe case of PTSD that manifested in alcoholism due to several tours of duty in Iraq & Afghanistan. oh & he was married with four kids anyway. Did I mention that she had a son by this man?

During this time, she was steadily losing weight; she got her breasts reduced & became a marathon runner. Our friendship is carried out mostly over the internet or phone:
"I'm not sure if I should keep this baby or have it adopted"
"I'm going to have it adopted"
"I changed my mind."
These little postcards from the edge are continuously entertaining. But I also have to remember that these calls for advice were also usually punctuated with offers to fly me to Seattle or Houston or wherever she was at that week to see her that never came to pass. There were promises of birthday presents, graduation presents, that were also not kept. There was some gift exchange though, over the years--I remember a hello kitty compact and some cookies from her & I sent some scarves, hats & headbands. I liked this girl. I thought she did crazy things but I really liked her & looked forward to hearing from her, even though the calls were often troubling, I did my best to always tell her the objective truth about things, and she always said that's what she valued most about our friendship.

So what, you may be asking, could have made me decide to be done with this woman?

Last summer, with the white man keeping her daughter, and the black man out of the picture (re-deployed maybe? I know there was some drama with his wife but it's all behind her now), she decides that she's going to spend the summer taking a road trip with her son, taking photographs & blogging throughout about the people she meets. I read the blog avidly, seeing photographs of poor people everywhere she goes. Like, did you intentionally seek out shelters? But anyway the blog stalls out in Missoula, Montana.

I get a phone call : "Do you think I should take over running this bar for a woman with cancer?"
"No grrl. One more or less bar in Missoula is not as important as following through with your plan."
"But I met a guy here & I really like him too!"
Here we go again. The guy is named Sam (how Freudian!!) but he is about to go study in Guatemala. She snags some job in record-keeping for the local city hall and enrolls in school there and gets her kids into the local day care. Sam takes off on her but there's a handy man who comes in really handy when she has a health scare and has to have a procedure that requires 4 or 5 days of recovery time. Without ever dating, she starts playing house with the handy man, who is in the middle of losing his job for a dirty drug test, but his cover story is that he just wants a break from the rat race. But she lets this man (and his teenage daughter) stay with her until one night once too often, he has some freak out & breaks her car windshield, again. He threw her on the bed & called her the N-word in front of her son. So she has had it with him.

But guess who is pregnant again??? And guess who gets a call?:
"Sam I need your help"
"Ok, what can I do from New Orleans?"
"Well, I need you to call this guy up, since I can't contact him without my lawyer because of the restraining order, and tell him I'm going to have an abortion, and I will leave his stuff at the lawyer's office."
"WHAT?"
"I need closure."
"But didn't you say earlier that you have an appointment to meet with the lawyer tomorrow at 4PM?"
"Well, yeah, but I can't wait that long"
"Why don't you just GO to the lawyer's office at 3 & drop his stuff off & tell your lawyer to tell him all of this madness??"
"Because I need this now!"
"Grrl. Look. You have been dealing with this man since, what, August? I think you can wait another 14 hours for closu---"
CLICK.

Yes. This chick hung up on me mid-sentence.

I reflected for a minute. Should I call back? Was the drama worth it? I think if any other ho hung up in my face like that, I'd be blowing their phone up in a hot second. But this? Not worth it. I just didn't feel like it any more.

Yesterday I got a text from an unsaved number that simply said: "This is my new number. Mo Gumbo"

I was flabbergasted, to tell the truth. After consulting with my baby Sis, Diana about how to proceed, I sent this text:
"Until you are ready to apologize to me for not taking part in your latest exercise in co-dependence, I don't think we need to be communicating"

I shared this with my so-called wife & she was like, "Well bitch, maybe it is time to say goodbye to this ho & goodbye to being the person you were when you knew her"

& I've never heard a truer word spoken.

So that's why Mo Gumbo's number is now also saved as "Do Not Answer"

It's not just goodbye Mo Gumbo. It's goodbye to taking on problems that are not mine. Goodbye to unnecessary drama and foolishness. Goodbye perpetuating a  pattern of behavior that may have once worked but is by now just flat out tired, not to mention exhausting.

I feel like cleansing myself of this stuff is a good way to make room for the blessings that are to come.

Praise be.

Gratitude, not Attitude

So since my previous blog post (and even before, if I'm being honest) I have been so blessed during these troubled times. So to combat the self-pity and doomed feelings I was having earlier, I have decided to follow Oprah's advice & write a gratitude list. This list is not in any particular order and by no means complete. Like many people, I am sure I have blessings I don't even realize.

1. My food stamp case got re-instated on Friday!!
2. My dear friend Tara not only brought me some groceries when my stamps were de-activated but also gave me a guest-star bartending shift last Friday night at Galvez Restaurant.
3. My friend Staci not only treated me to pizza & good company, she also took care of my cell phone bill.
3. Giselle, my 1st Gally buddy & LRW extraordinaire not only paid the past due portion of my Entergy bill but also came by Sunday with her 2-year old & gave me a ride to "make groceries." We were 2 Large Retarded Women & a baby & Rouse's may never be the same!!!
4. After some discussion & prayer, my parents are sending a rent check to my landlady (I am currently about a week late on the rent, so this really does a lot for my state of mind)
5. Mad Martha has taken me out for meals & coffee & Escrabble, and sent job leads my way that I may not have ever considered without her.
6. My dear friend Robin is letting me take pilates class twice a week, thus providing some structure to my time. I can't say I've had some stunning weight loss results but I am showing progress. It really does me good to have at least 2 hours a week where I can get out of my head & get into my body, if that makes sense.
7. The Amazing Elisha still knows how to put everything into perspective when I need that other LRW POV on what's happening.
8. Sandi is always there for me to talk to. To tell the things that are too crazy or scary or real to blog about or tell anyone who hasn't known me for 20+ years.
9. Kris did a volunteer bartending shift with me Friday at Satchmo Strut after my twirl at Galvez and not only did we have fun doing that, she took me out to La Peniche afterwards & the conversation didn't stop til almost 5AM. I swear, if she wasn't black & 12 years younger than I am, I would think we were separated at birth.
10. Ashley, a friend & former student, took me out Saturday for dinner, drinks & an eye-opening conversation.
11. My sisters, Sara & Diana, are always there & somehow have just the right things to say. They both remind me that despite my latest setbacks, I am not a failure, just another smart, funny person struggling with dumb, tragic circumstances.

All of this and so much more gives me the strength to keep plugging away. I am humbled by this outpouring of kindness and looking forward to the day when I can not just pay it back, but pay it forward as well.

Thank you to everyone I've mentioned & anyone I've forgotten!

& Thank you for reading!!

Because YOU demanded it!

Well, at least one of you asked for it. I was with a friend last night who commented, "It's been a long time since you posted a blog," to which I replied: "Well, there is not a lot to say & I don't wanna spew my self-pity all over the internet."
The more I think about it, why not update everyone? It can't hurt and maybe it could help. I haven't been posting lately because I haven't thought anyone would want to know my bad news but then again, my readers are mostly (I hope) friends who love and care for me so here goes.

I am doing really badly. I have been desperately seeking employment since June with very little response. I have registered with Temp Services, a tutoring agency, advertised as a tutor on Craig's List, and even pulled together a waiter resumé and send several of them out to many local restaurants. So far I had one interview at a restaurant that I thought went well but didn't result in my getting hired.  My food stamp case got closed on June 30th because I didn't make sure that UNO sent the FS office verification that I am not working there any more. Once I found that out by calling to check my balance on the day I was supposed to get more stamps (July 14) on my LA Purchase card (naturally I was not notified of this), I began emailing my caseworker to find out what I needed to do to get my case re-opened. After several emails & voicemail messages, he finally contacted me & told me what I needed to do, I contacted UNO's HR dept to get the information (which took several days, naturally) so I could forward it to my caseworker. A few days after I did this, I was still frantically checking my FS balance via phone & still hearing that it is ZERO. Several more voicemails & emails to my caseworker later, I got an email on July 25 that stated :

 I did receive the information from UNO about your employment ending. However, when I attempted to complete your SNAP case, the check stubs provided were not efficient (seriously??) enough to justify you (I think he means "your") statements. You stated you rent is $500 a month, and that you pay utilities, but your check stubs do not show an efficient (this person is employed & I am not, are you kidding me?) amount of money to care for all of your expenses. If you have any other source of income, please provide a statement explaining where the income is coming from. If not, I need to know how you manage this expenses. You have until 7/29/2011 to submit this information before your case will be closed completely without a chance of reopening immediately, and you will have to re-apply. If you have more current check stubs that show enough income to care for expenses, you may submit those.


I contacted my caseworker and explained that when I was receiving Financial Aid, I paid my rent several months in advance (AKA thru August 1) and used my regular income to handle my monthly bills. Naturally I received no response until July 29, when he called, all apologetic, and told me that he was forwarding my case to the reinstatement dept, and that I should have more stamps on that day (Friday) or Monday at the latest. So when I still had a Zero balance on my acct Monday I called the FS help line, where (after 20 plus minutes of hold time on Daytime minutes) some lady answered the phone and when I told her my situation, she told me that it takes 30 BUSINESS days for food stamps to get re-instated. I think I burst into tears at this point and got off the phone.

2 weeks ago or so I applied for Unemployment Benefits (something I haven't done since Hurricane Katrina) and received two letters. The 1st stated that I was ineligible and the second stated that I was eligible for $109 per week. The deal with unemployment is that every Sunday you have to either phone in or log in online and file a weekly claim. Well, guess who has filed every week and still received ZERO? Right 1st time! I called these people Friday and after 28 minutes of daytime minutes on hold, some woman with a thick foreign accent (I really wonder if they are outsourcing) got on the phone and after verifying everything besides my eye color & genetic code, she placed me once again on hold for an additional several minutes, only to get back on the phone and tell me that my case will have to be reviewed because they are not sure I have worked long enough to be eligible for this grandiose sum of $109/week. As I was reviewing their info, I realized that they only have records of me working for the last 3 quarters. This is when it hit me that UNO never took federal taxes or anything out of my stipend when I was teaching and that because Tulane dragged their feet about paying me, they only have record of me working and paying into the system since last October. UGH. Miss Woman also told me that she has no possible way of knowing how long it will take the Review department (or whoever) to check my information, as there are any number of applicants ahead of me in line for review, but that I should keep filing my weekly claims in case they decide to approve me.

This is really absurd to me. This kind of thing is just a question of somebody POINTING & CLICKING. People transfer MILLIONS at the stroke of a few keys and somehow I can't get this measly $109/week? I'm fairly certain this exchange got pretty tearful as well. Then Miss Woman put me on hold for several more daytime minutes and then got back on the line and said, all chipper like "Is there anything else I can help you with?" Like she had helped in the first place. I managed to choke out "No thanks" and got off the phone before my hunger and anger vented on a call that was possible being recorded.

I don't know if this is coming out clearly or not but I don't want the food stamps. I don't want the Unemployment Benefits. What I want is a job in my field and not to be just another over-educated, unemployed, almost 40 year old living off the government. I have deliberately kept my expenses minimal: No credit cards, no car, my bills solely consist of rent, utilities, phone, internet & TV and I still can't make ends meet. My moods swing from grateful beyond reason to those who have done their damnedest to help and resentful beyond belief and those who are taking extravagant vacations while I try to work up the nerve to ask my parents for financial help. There are some days when I can't even find the motivation to get up off the couch or bathe or do much more than nibble on the last little drops of hummus in the fridge. I stopped working on my Dalida biography translation project, because I am at the point in the story where she first attempts suicide & that is too dark of a place for me to let my mind go.

I am doing my best to stay in a place of gratitude and realize that I really am blessed. People have it worse than me. Some people are suffering in this heat with no roof over their heads and no place to cool off and no friends to bolster their spirits and bring them groceries or take them out for dinner & Escrabble. I try to keep reminding myself that I am doing the right things. Sending out resumes, making contacts, but in the back of it all the ugly fact is that I am down to single digits in the bank and as far as I can tell there are no food pantries in walking distance (I have called all the places listed on the 2nd harvest website, and only 2 have responded, both to say that they are not, in fact, food pantries, but they provide snacks from 2nd Harvest to their nursery school students and/or parishioners.)

Anyway. Sorry this is not the usual, upbeat, funny blog you have all come to love & expect. Thank you for taking the time to read this, and thank you for keeping me in your thoughts & prayers.

Another crazy LRW weekend!

Friday night, my so-called wife took me to see Sade at the New Orleans Arena. She spoiled me rotten (as usual) with awesome seats on the floor for a show I can only describe as mind-blowing. Sade has hardly aged at all and still sounds absolutely amazing. To be sure, her voice has matured to some degree but she still hits every note and has such magnificent control over her voice that it is truly not to be believed. In this day and age of expensive shows by cheap artists, Sade is a marvel. The show itself was beautifully lit and produced but never overwhelmed the artist's presence onstage. The minimalist stage set & superb use of visual FX like scrims & back projected images were simply entrancing without being obtrusive.

The concert was a welcome distraction from my current situation which is: still seeking work and rapidly coming to the end of my savings as the bills keep coming in.

Another welcome distraction came earlier this evening in the form of a phone call from my dear friend & ex-classmate, Mad Martha. Just as I was about to put a frozen pizza in the oven she called with an invitation to dinner with a little Escrabble (Spanish Scrabble) afterwards. We went over to Juicy Lucy's on N. Carrollton, where we enjoyed cheese stuffed burgers (mine had bacon too--YUM).

We went over to Z'otz Coffeeshop on Oak St, and we were playing at one of the tables on the sidewalk outside, talking crazy when I heard a crash from behind me and as I turned around to look, I saw this big red dooly (sp?) truck swerving straight towards us, out of control, with its rear end lifting up off the street. Mercifully there was a car parked in between it & us and the truck hit the car in front of us & then drove off. Plenty of people (including the girl who was working at the coffee shop) ran behind the fleeing truck, calling for people to take down the license plate number. Within a couple of minutes, we saw the truck come around the corner and then keep driving. All this time there are loads of people milling around, talking about what had just happened. This truck had hit not one but two parked cars. The owner of the first car (i.e. not the one that blocked us from certain death) came down from a bar a block away to give someone the license plate number of the truck when she realized that her car was one of the ones that had been hit.
She called 911 and gave the police all the info she had & right after she got off the phone, the truck's driver came up, wanting to give her his information. This guy was talking crazy and was clearly high or drunk but gave her his driver's license and address and everything & even left a note on the other car he'd hit but then he took off. Everyone was telling him he needed to stay there until the police came or face Hit & Run charges but he wasn't hearing it. When someone pointed out how much damage he had done, he just sort of shook his head and chuckled. Then he proceeded to walk off. Short of actually tying him up, there was no way to keep him there (plus I don't think anyone wanted to fight with some drunk) so he just carried on.
About an hour later we managed to wave down a passing policeman and tell him the situation, and he took the info that Miss Woman had and took off & a bit later an officer showed up in response to the 911 call to take everyone's statements. He gave all of us witnesses report forms to fill out and we did that.
Mad Martha & I continued our game of Escrabble, but as the adrenaline wore off we started to really think about how much worse it could have been. We were both pretty paralyzed with shock when that truck was hurtling towards us and I'm not sure we could have gotten out of the way in time. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I have some kind of PTSD from this or anything but DAMN that was a close one.

This little incident makes me want to work harder at being grateful for my blessings and not focus so hard on my shortcomings, because it all could have been taken away in an instant with no warning , or even any active participation on my part.

So thank you, first and foremost to Elisha & Mad Martha but also to all of my friends, family & just plain folks who think kindly of me from time to time!

Tot Mom: The Movie Casting

So in this media induced feeding frenzy, there has been a lot of talk about books that Casey Anthony might write or TV movies or what have you. My friend Matty & I came up with our dream cast for a Tot Mom film:

Casey Anthony--Jennifer Love Hewitt in her latest comeback. Jose Baez, defense attorney--Marc Anthony
Cheney Mason, his co-counsel--Malcolm McDowell
Caylee Anthony--Suri Cruise in her debut role.
George Anthony--an aged-up Sean Penn or Philip Seymour Hoffman out of makeup & in a grey wig.
Cindy Anthony--Allison Janney, I'm already feeling an Oscar buzz here.
Lee Anthony--James Franco
Judge Belvin Perry--Robert Guillaume. Yes, Benson.
Prosecutor Jeff Ashton--Josh Taylor AKA Roman Brady on Days of Our Lives.
Asst. Prosecutor Linda Drane Burdick--Camryn Manheim
Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez, the imaginary nanny--Rosie Perez
Amy Huizenga, Casey's friend whose checks she stole--Drew Barrymore
Dr Jan Garavaglia, Medical Examiner--Herself

With a cameo appearance by Jack Black as the guy who shot the bird at Jeff Ashton from the courtroom audience and got 6 days in jail & about $700 in fines for it.

And RuPaul as the Bailiff!!

Of course, no film about tot mom can ignore the media aspect so we've decided on Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, & Lisa Lisa to play HLN talking heads Nancy Grace, Jean Casarez & Jane Velez-Mitchell!!

Trial By Twitter

I know it's been a long time since I've written but I have been so wrapped up in the Casey Anthony you wouldn't believe it. Now that my jobs at Tulane & UNO have both ended, I have had lots of free time (when not working on translation and job-seeking) to watch the trial on HLN. And post about it on Facebook. And read other ppl's tweets about it (although I haven't gotten a Twitter acct just yet). And watch videos of it on CNN.com. And read what the Orlando Sentinel's website has to say about it. I even became FB friends with Richelle Carey from HLN just so I could read her posts about the trial while I was working on my translation project.

Casey Anthony was accused of murdering her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee.
The trial itself lasted just over a month but Casey Anthony has been on trial in the court of public opinion for about 3 years now, mostly thanks to Nancy Grace's continous harping on "Tot Mom". Miss Anthony was just declared not guilty of all the charges except for providing false information to police officers. Needless to say, my cell phone BLEW UP when this news came in. Naturally I was watching HLN's coverage of the verdict at the time. I see that loads of folks on FB are outraged & I'm sure Nancy Grace is having a fit of apoplexy right about now but my DVR has been on pause since the verdict was announced.

Nancy Grace's show gives her an opportunity to do what she couldn't do when she was a prosecutor: present inflammatory, skewed information to an apathetic public, whom she whips into a frenzy via the repetition of key phrases: "Justice for Caylee" "Tot Mom Went out PARTYING while the baby was missing" "Caylee's body was wrapped up like trash" "Caylee's body was found only 15 houses from the Anthony home!!" "The baby was tested for Ketamine--a DATE RAPE drug!!!!" Never mind that Caylee was tested for EVERY drug, Nancy Grace has to make it out as if Ketamine was the only thing the baby's body was tested for, and it just HAD to be because the police had evidence of the baby being drugged. The fact was & is that they NEVER had solid evidence of Casey Anthony's guilt, only a strange, sad set of circumstances.

I can't claim not to have been affected by all of this media coverage on the case. Based on HLN's night time lineup--Jane Velez-Mitchell, Nancy Grace, & Dr Drew--there was never any doubt that despite our "innocent until proven guilty" principle, HLN believed this woman was as guilty as hell & never really gave much airtime to the Defense's case, except the most outlandish aspects of it. There was plenty of coverage about searches on Casey Anthony's computer (84 I believe) for "chloroform" that were found by some IT expert. However, the fact that these searches didn't show up until a SECOND scan was done on the computer (which took this expert over 12 hours to make work). If I hadn't watched the entire closing arguments (the only time that HLN didn't incessantly break in with commercials, btw) I might have missed that on the 1st search on Casey's computer, the experts found NO mention of chloroform and 84 accesses to Myspace. Now this makes more sense to me. Once you look up how to make chloroform, why would you need to go back 40 times? It is more reasonable to me to expect someone to use myspace 40 times. Never mind that it is not 100% clear whether it was Casey who was actually using the computer at that time. HLN also never mentioned that the original State's Medical Examiner found no evidence of homicide & ONLY focussed on what celebrity Medical Examiner, Dr G (Jan Garavaglia) had to say about Caylee's remains, which had been gnawed on by animals.

But this is not really the point I was trying to make in the first place. Casey Anthony was arrested & accused of murdering her child because Casey Anthony lies. (She made up this whole elaborate fantasy about her Caylee being with a nanny, not to mention some story about a non-existent boyfriend & his children, and plenty more besides). She also steals (from her own grandfather's retirement home fund! Her best friend, Amy's checkbook!). And she ran around acting like a party girl for the 1st 31 days after her daughter went missing!!

But does the fact that someone behave abhorrently make it OK for us to lynch her? Jane Velez-Mitchell made a great point recently when she mentioned that this is the 1st trial to take place via social media. People receive sensationalistic information and then react on FB, Twitter, etc without knowing the whole story. People hate this Casey Anthony woman because she didn't act like we wanted her to. Never mind that she didn't "act" the way we expect a murderer to act--for example, by leaving town, hiding out, or trying to change her identity. At the end of the day though, the state's case really just boiled down to "Don't you just hate her? She was the last person to be seen with the baby, therefore she must have killed the baby, therefore we should put her to death!!"

I thought Casey Anthony's lawyer, Jose Baez, made a lot of mis-steps during this trial--not the least of which being to accuse Casey's dad of molesting her since age 8 in his opening statement--but his closing arguments were little short of genius. He easily poked holes in the State's flimsy case and pointed out how much reasonable doubt there really is where this case is concerned. Once you go beyond the sound bites and really look at the "evidence," there really isn't very much there.

Post-Birthday blog....

Well, June 2nd came & went & I'm still recovering. That's a sure sign you did something right, btw.

The festivities commenced in the evening of that great Thursday, after work (where my lovely friend Kit got my a delish chocolate B-day cake), my new friend Roy (whom I met at Dr Who Convention in LA this past February) flew in from Cudahy, WI to spend the weekend at my place in NOLA!
I got my gal pal Simone to bring me to the airport to pick him up & after some confusion about which exit to take we grabbed him & headed downtown to El Gato Negro, where the Carrot Juice Margaritas will ROCK YOUR WORLD!! Also joining us were my classmate/student/buddy Mad Martha, my ex-co-worker Bourgie Katherine, my fave lesbian couple/swimmin buddies Kris & Jen & (eventually) my lil sweetheart Daniella. As fate would have it, the back patio was completely empty & we had it all to ourselves. FANTASTIC. The service was stupendous as the staff easily kept up with our increasing need for cocktails on a warm Spring evening. We had the free chips & salsa while we nursed round 1 of Carrot Juice (CJ for short) Ritas & ordered their salsa sampler (delish but not for the faint of stomach. I was really glad for how sweet & refreshing my CJ Rita was when I tasted how hot they were). As people filtered in, more drinks were ordered, I promise. I stuck to the Top Shelf CJ Rita while Bourgie Katherine had some kinda Bourgie Pomegranate Mojito (which I sampled--YUM-O, to quote Rachel Ray). I think Simone also tried the Pineapple Cilantro Rita (also inspiring). And like the Large Retarded Women we are, we tucked into a delectable meal. The menu is not so long as to be imposing but it's just so hard to make a choice when everything is so good! I had the Center Cut Pork Chops Al Cazador while Roy had the Chicken Breast con Mole. For those who have not experienced mole: Stop. Get off the computer & find a quality Mexican establishment & eat the HELL out of it.
Okay, now that you're back at your computer, I can honestly tell you I think I remember Martha & Kris having some kinda nachos & well, did I mention by now we were at round 5 of CJ Ritas? Anyway, my so-called wife popped in with a pressie just before we walked Simone back to her car & retrieved Roy's carry-on bag from her car & put it in Bourgie Katherine's lil red Mustang & then headed to 1135 Decatur (the former Rubyfruit/Whirling Dervish/Crystal/Blue Crystal) for my old friend & fellow Gemini, Cameron's free House Music event. Being that it was a Thursday night & most hoes had to work the next day, pretty much every1 else took off besides Katherine & Roy but we were also joined by my Dear Sistery McBride, aka Steven Lemley. After a few drinks and a few mins on the dance floor with the long-lost Rick Glasgow, the four of us folded ourselves up into that lil convertible Mustang & headed over the Jimani, where one of Miss Bourgie's friend's was also having a b-day. After a few more drinks, Miss Bourgie dropped Roy, Sistery & myself off at my place, where we stayed up chatting til about 4am, when Sistery called a cab & I installed Roy on the couch & hit the bed.
We kept the fun going the next day, when Taheeshi Red AKA Matty Whips popped up and the three of us headed to Elizabeth's in the Marigny for a little lunch. It's more fun for brunch on the weekend, but the bright decor is always pleasant, even if the staff is a little subdued toward the end of the shift. I had the roast-beef po-boy (I ordered it with gravy but they don't have gravy evidently) which was tolerable but not stupendous. Matty had the BLT with pork jowls & Spinach (so more of a JST, but there you have it) & I think Roy had a seafood platter. The bloody mary's were just the right touch but lord when we got out in the sun, we pretty much cancelled our movie plans & opted for a day in the Air Conditioned coolness of my apt with my Wonder Woman DVDs. It didn't take us long to come up with WW drinking games (every spin is a drink & any motif of the show becomes a drink--like when Formicida the Ant Lady makes the ants eat a building you take a drink, etc). We completed our lazy day by ordering pizza & I guess we dozed off around 2ish. Possibly later.

We woke up the next morning with Dalida & WW & headed for The Country Club for some sun & swimming & brunch--oh my! Featuring Kris the Mimosa fiend. We had the bottomless mimosas (til 3PM) along with boudin balls as an appetizer (MMMM. Think of a battered, deep-fried ball of rice dressing with a creole mustard dipping sauce) and I think I had the traditional breakfast while Roy had the Portobello sandwich. Kris had a side of mac & cheese with peas (well maybe 2 of these) and something that escapes me, due to the bottomless mimosas. Then we frolicked in the pool til the sun went down!! We encountered a few other gay men (one of whom was drinking "abandoned" cocktails he found poolside & was aptly named--Hoover) but mostly just splashed around, chatting amongst ourselves. Eventually Jen found her way to the pool & we all hung out for a hot minute before the gals took off. I wonder if they ever made it to their next destination, Nonna Mia? Who can say....

So as Roy & I were settling up at the bar we ran into a former classmate of mine & chatted with him & his ex-roomie for awhile b4 calling for a cab to whisk us back into WW DVD land. I believe this is when we watched Amazon Hot Wax, a WW adventure featuring Lynda Carter as Diana Prince going undercover as a singer named Cathy Meadows, featuring 2 songs from her album "Portrait"--Clearly the drinking game continued...I might also mention that the Internet Fairies blessed us with the mid-season Finale of Dr Who!!

Sunday we cabbed over to The Ruby Slipper on S. Cortez in Mid-City where we had a few Bloody Mary's while waiting for a table. The wait was not excessive, and the rainy weather (& umbrellas outside) made it bearable. Roy had the Crab Cake breakfast while I stuck to the traditional but went a lil carb-crazy by having breakfast potatoes & grits (TO DIE FOR). Afterwards, we strolled over to Angelo Brocato's for a lil authentic taste of NOLA ice cream before proceeding back to my house, where Roy packed his bag & we watched one last episode of WW & bid each other "see you again" & that's really what it feels like. On more than one occasion he told me "Grrl, we are gonna know each other for a long time."

So yes, this was the best birthday yet. Friends, new & old, joy, laughter, Wonder Woman, Dr Who...what more could I ask for?